


Talking to the Moon (Hurts like Hell)

by ziallwarrior



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, Logince - Freeform, M/M, Military Funeral, There are flashbacks, just a happy flashback ending, military death, moxiety - Freeform, no happy ending, yes there is a death here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 10:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18849493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziallwarrior/pseuds/ziallwarrior
Summary: Based on the songs; Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars and Hurts like Hell by Fleurietw: heartbreak, death, death in military, military funeral (I know little to nothing about military funerals, so I kept description minimal), no happy ending really just a happy flashback





	Talking to the Moon (Hurts like Hell)

_Roman looks around, seeing he’s walking down an aisle. A church aisle. He stops, surveying the area and sees a mirror close by, slowly walking over. He walked almost cautiously, scared he would break something or himself. Once in front, he saw himself wearing a pure white suit, save for the maroon tie._

_“Roman. You’re finally here.”_

-

 

Roman gasps as he wakes up, panting hard, tears rolling his cheeks. He felt like he couldn’t move, the dream having been so vivid. He could hear him, feel his presence there with him. He looks to his left, and it was empty. The bed was still neatly done, not even the pillow shifted. He runs a hand down it slowly, afraid to move it for a moment. It had to stay perfect, the pillows had to stay the way it was, it had to stay smooth.

Roman checks the hour, seeing he had only one hour to get ready and had to leave no later than said hour. Today was the day, and while he was nervous, he had to move on with it. He grabs his phone, dialing a number and places his arm on his forehead.

“Hello?”

“Hey. I need you.”

Roman fixes his tie, sighing shakily as he walked into the church. He looks around, seeing family members, friends, acquaintances, people he knew. He sees Virgil and Patton, walking over to him. They were talking in hush whispers, Patton being the first to look up. Patton tapped on Virgil’s shoulder and they both went towards Roman.

“Roman…”

“Hug me.”

With that, they both wrapped their arms around Roman. He let out a breath he was holding in, shaky and unsteady. He grips onto their jackets and tears up, gritting down on his teeth.

“Roman-“

“Just hug me.”

They stay quiet, Virgil separating when he needed to tend to the people coming. Patton kept his arms around Roman, leading him to the front. Roman shook his head, not wanting to look. It was too much.

“I can’t, Patton,” Roman grips onto his shoulder, looking down at his shoes.

“Let’s sit. We still need to wait for the father,” Patton informs him and leads him to the pews, letting him sob on his shoulder. He rubbed his back, seeing the people going up towards the front.

-

_“What are you doing?”_

_“Talking to the moon.”_

_“Why? It won’t respond.”_

_“I know, but she’s a beauty. Just look at her.”_

_“She sure is a beauty.”_

-

Roman runs his hand over the smooth wood, looking at the flower. He lets out a shaky sigh, opening the lid slowly, Damian and Remy standing behind him. Roman had his eyes closed, taking deep breaths to control himself. He opens them slowly, looking down at the person laying there.

“Logan.”

He covers his mouth, trying to keep his composure. He takes in a deep breath and blows it out, feeling fresh tears well up.

“Oh god, Logan,” He whimpers out and wipes away his tears, eyes now puffy and red, “Logan.”

He strokes his cheek, seeing his peaceful-looking face. Roman shook his head, not wanting to believe this was his husband.

“Please come back, my love. Please,” Was what he could whimper out beside his name.

-

_“How long?”_

_“14 months, possibly more but it shouldn’t be more than two years.”_

_“Logan, I’m terrified.”_

_“Hey, I’ll come back. I always do, don’t I?”_

_“You better come back.”_

_“I will, mi amor. I promise.”_

_“Te Amo.”_

_“Te Amo también.”_

-

Roman was holding onto Virgil’s hand as they handed him the flag. He let go, taking it gently and holds it delicately. He looks down at it, then back up at Damian and Remy.

They were both close to Logan, having gone through the training and boot camp together. They’ve known each other since diapers. They’ve been through hell and back. They were all in combat, they’ve tended to each other’s injury. It was Damian who saw Logan take his breath, while Remy could feel it under his hands as he put pressure on the wounds. Seeing them keep their composure at this delicate time, with everything they saw, Roman could only imagine how difficult it was for them.

He looks down once more, closing his eyes and tried to imagine Logan next to him. At their house. In bed. Together.

Not at his funeral. Not at the cemetery. Not where they were surrounded by many. Not this.

Roman opens his eyes as the trumpets play, and he was at the verge of breaking down. He didn’t want to be there anymore. He wanted to be home, where all of their things were at.

He did not want to read the headstone he had to get for Logan.

_‘Ct. Logan Alexander Sanders_

_Beloved husband, father, brother, mentor, soldier, and friend._

_July 12, 1981-December 20, 2019’_

-

_“Is this the home of Captain Logan Alexander Sanders?”_

_“Yes, I’m his husband.”_

_Roman knew why they were here, but he didn’t want to believe it. Everything went mute to Roman when they confirmed it, covering his mouth as he cried, screamed, holding onto the door handle for support._

_“No! No, he can’t be dead!”_

_“We’re very sorry for your loss.”_

_Roman sobs and shakes his head, screaming at the pain he felt once more. Virgil was outside when he heard the screams, running over and froze when he saw them._

_“No. No. This isn’t real.”_

_Virgil shook his head, falling down onto the grass and grips his hair. His brother. His baby brother._

_Logan was killed during active duty._

_This was the day before Christmas when Roman was preparing his come back._

-

Roman gently placed the frame over his chimney, next to Logan’s picture. He backs away, looking around his home. He felt alone. He felt cold. He felt scared. He wanted Logan. He wanted to be held. He wanted to be reassured he’s safe. He wanted his protection.

He wraps his arms over himself, trying to imagine Logan’s slender but toned arms around him.

“You broke your promise,” Roman whispered into the air, “You didn’t come home,” now walking to his bedroom and laid down.

-

_“How does it feel to be Mr. Sanders now?”_

_“You’re a little cocky, huh?”_

_“Ecstatic, really.”_

_“It feels amazing. Mr. and Mr. Sanders.”_

_“Roman Carlos Sanders. Fun initials.”_

_“Is that what you’re really thinking about?”_

_“Well, it is you, so yes.”_

_“…”_

_“Roman?”_

_“I fucking love you, dork.”_

_Logan laughs in response and Roman just watches him as if he was the most beautiful star. His heart fluttered even more, and he was falling for him all over again._

-

Roman sat up on their roof, looking up at the moon. He stared up it, seeing how she shone brighter than ever. No need for much light, the moon was bright enough. Even the stars seemed brighter, seeming to twinkle and were putting on a show. The whole night sky was littered with stars, making Roman stare in awe.

A gust of wind brought him back, and he looks at the moon once more. He swallows back his tears and gives a shaky smile.

“I know you’re somewhere up there,” He whispers softly, “Logan, I love you. I never…I never got to tell you one more time. I love you, Logan. I love you.”

He fists up his hands, wiping away any stray tears. He soon remembered something, letting out a small chuckle.

“Take care of our, little Thomas. I hope you two are together and I’ll see you one day.”

He felt a gust of wind once more, but it was a gentle blow as if wanting to envelop him in a hug. Roman gives a small smile, walking down to his room.

-

_“Logan!”_

_Roman laughs as Logan picks him up, spinning him around. He squeals as Logan picks him up bridal style, a bright smile on both of their faces. Roman stares into those dark eyes, which would always hold mystery but they also help compassion. Empathy. Love. Curiosity. It held the secrets of the universe._

_“You’re staring, my rose.”_

_“How can I not? You’re just dashing sunflower.”_

“ _Flattery will only get you in bed quicker.”_

“ _Is that a promise?”_

_Logan laughs this time, setting Roman down and cups his cheek. Roman leaned into his warmth and smiles softly. The calm winds blew through them, the sounds of waves crashing was calming, birds singing or chirping. Logan kisses Roman’s forehead and Roman hums at the warmth._

_“Together forever.”_

_“Together forever, my rose."_

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr | [Sanders Sides Quotes](https://sandersidesquotes.tumblr.com/)


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